First of all I have to say I hope and pray that all 49 souls rest in peace. They died in a brutal way and there really is very little one could effectively say to address this sombre fact.

When you grow up with the internet or have access to resources or connections to people with resources, you’ll have no trouble finding a link to the video of the shooting. But be warned, and I do really mean this, the video is traumatizing. I’ve seen a lot of unsightly things on the internet in my time, but this one by far exceeds anything I’ve ever viewed. I’ve read it being described as a real life Call of Duty scene (the video game, if you didn’t know). To witness the shooting of a group of people in a first person perspective is devastating. The images are burned into my mind’s eye. Seeing machine gun fire just mow people down like that, orchestrated and performed by someone ice cold the way Brenton Tarrant was, shook me to the very core. I had to lie down for a while and I wasn’t even sure if I lost my appetite, I guess I did for a little bit but thankfully this feeling eventually passed.

I debated whether to share the direct links to the video and manifesto here, because I do believe in the freedom of information, however I decided in the end not to link them here.

Whoever is reading this might be expecting me to give my opinion on the motivations behind the act itself, or may be wondering why this whole thing doesn’t revolve around expressing such things. Well, I am not writing this to do that.

I have to write this in order to expel it from my body, plain and simple. I have to share my raw feelings about this and nothing else.

To anyone out there who is having a hard time processing their feelings or is harbouring anxious feelings in their midsection I would recommend you make use of the creative outlet closest to you, right away.

One final thought. I think we might see more GoPro point of view acts of violence in the future, perhaps combined with live streaming. When I expressed my shock about watching the video, I really cannot understate it. It was a unique thing. The first of its kind disseminated into the wild like that. I am quite sure it is precisely because of this that I was so affected. I think this event today will be regarded in the future as a historic point when discussing terrorism, akin perhaps to the Oklahoma City bombing or even 9/11. Not in death toll, but in the “first of its kind” characteristic.

I wish you all a good day.